The Protest

My wife said something to my son Rowan today that he did not like. He yelled "PROTEST!" I am a big rules guy in sailing. I have not had a protest make it to a jury since 2000, but I make sure I have a red flag ready to go. Over the years I have tried taping a flag to the backstay, Velcro, and now a great solution I found at http://www.sailorsprotestflags.com. Rowan was fascinated with the latest product. It is a protest flag shielded in a tennis ball. This beats keeping the flag on the backstay as the sun would fade it. It also beats Velcro for convenience. I just pull on a strap and out pops the flag. Rowan asked about it. I explained that in sailing you must fly a red flag when you protest. He asked what a protest was. I explained that it is what a boat will do when they think another boat has broken a rule. If the other boat acknowledges the foul, they will take a penalty. If not, the protest can go to a jury to be decided. With that in mind, Rowan protested his mother when she said something he did not like. I may have to get him his own red flag. I will convene a jury tonight and find the facts of the protest. Odds are it will be thrown out for improper procedures.